Why Does the Married Man Cheat?

You hear about it all the time; a married man and fresh young woman are having an affair.  They are carrying on and on and everyone around them wants to know why?  Why is he cheating?  Is he in love with her or is he just enamored of her youth and how different she is from his wife?

There are lots of reasons why married men cheat.  Some cheaters make up a recipe for a long lasting love affair that can turn into a committed relationship, while others are simply mixing up the ingredients for a good time.  You should also know that many married men aren’t even really sure why they cheat, so it’s almost useless to try to understand.


Married man cheatLooking for a good time

Life is tough.  Being an adult in a committed relationship can quickly go from wonderful to “ho-hum.” Often when problems in the home arise, many men find that it’s easier to go out and have a good time with another woman than it is to confront the issues in their marriage.  Job loss, money problems, health issues and lack of communication are all reasons that make men start looking to cheat.

Why?  Usually, when there are problems, there is blame.  When there is blame, there is the potential for hurt feelings, feelings of inadequacy and a lack of intimacy in a relationship.  For many men, there is often a sense of betrayal and hurt when things go wrong in the home.  Often these feelings go on unexpressed, which can cause resentment and frustration to build up in a relationship because nobody is working to break the cycle.  When a man is feeling badly about himself, he’s likely going to want to have an “ego boost” and this is where cheating comes in.

Here’s the kicker:  in situations such as these, it’s the lack of communication that really convinces the man that he wants to cheat.  If he feels diminished in his wife’s eyes, he can simply go out and find the attention of a gorgeous woman that has no idea what’s going on in the home.

Of course, there are always the guys who will tell you that they “just aren’t commitment material.”  These are the guys that love their wives in theory, but aren’t willing to give up the thrill of the chase and conquest of being with other women.

Recipe for commitment

Then again, there are the married men that cheat and are actually a recipe for a long term relationship with the person they have an affair with.  Their reasoning for having an affair is likely pretty similar to those of the men that are out for a good time, but the difference is that they aren’t committed to their marriage anymore.  It’s likely that they are no longer in love with their wives and are sincerely looking for a relationship that they can be truly happy in.

Why?  Usually this type of cheating has to do with “staying together for the kids” or an already separated marriage.  Maybe this type of married cheater takes separate vacations from his wife, or she’s already having an affair.  Whatever the reason, this married man is married on paper, but in his heart he’s already gone.  He’s probably been hanging onto his marriage for some reason or the other and is almost screaming for an excuse to get out of it.

Keep in mind that much of the time when married men cheat, it’s not that they are setting out to hurt their wives.  It’s often due to a lack of communication or hurt feelings that have built up over time that have caused them to react in this way.  Most of the time, these guys aren’t “bad” or “horrible.”  They often feel terrible about what they are doing, but are finally feeling alive again – the feelings conflict and cause a lot of agony among married men who cheat.